Boys, boys, boys

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I’m a messy person. Really! I’m not that type of girl who has her clothes on colors, folded in strict angles, ironed and sorted on styles. Actually, if you’ll put your hand in my wardrobe, there is a big risk to lose your hand, to be eaten by a dragon or bitten by a snake. So, don’t fucking open my wardrobe. Seriously, my heart rates would go immediately high and I would fucking release the Cerber to devour you.

That’s about my clothes wardrobe. Things stay totally different about the boys wardrobe. Cause yes, every girl, consciously or not, has a boys wardrobe. Most of the time, it’s an imaginary one, but there exists also the real one, full with different types of dildoes. They can be sorted on sizes, colors, purposes, even on names…..Seriously! They can be Orpheus, Achilles, The Shark….and the names list continues with a wild variety of original names. And even if the inhabitants of this wardrobe will never cheat on you, leave you or finish before you, here we are going to talk about the imaginary boys wardrobe.

As I said, here the things stay totally different. Here, you must keep everything in order, sort everything on certain criteria and don’t you dare to mess up anything. Otherwise, you’ll get burned and you’ll suffer like a dog the consequences. At a certain age, you’ll learn exactly how many drawers you need in this wardrobe and how to sort the species inside. Even if every girl has her own personalized boys wardrobe, the drawers inside have, more or less, the same names or the same meaning.

So, the most important and common drawers are:

  • THE ONE’s drawer

Every human being on this Universe (unless you are a psycho or a irremediable broken soul or a heartless piece of meat – and then, dude, sorry to disappoint you, but you are missing the essence of life)…so every normal human being is searching for the soul mate, for THE ONE. Sometimes, you can find it, sometimes you can search a lifetime and find a shit. Or, sometimes, you can find it and realize that everything is impossible cause you were born too late, you met too late, you live on another planet or God knows what other reasons He put between you and The One just to make fun of you. Or, you can, simply, place the wrong person in this drawer … and you can realize that after 1 month, 1 year, or 5 years (in my case).

One thing is sure – this drawer is reserved only for one person, for that special human being that you can call it “You are MY PERSON”

  •  The WOLF’s drawer

This is for you crush, your obsession…..for that wild animal who gives you stomach and vagina butterflies. How many girls don’t take their phone at the shower, under the shower, at the toilet….just to be sure that they will not miss a call from this indifferent asshole. Cause, most of the time, the wolf plays it like that because he knows how desperate the girl is, he feels it.

I remember one friend of mine who was passing through a situation like this. She was crazy about a guy who was, probably, not that into her, or he was a master of the chasing game. Anyway, she was spending hours or days waiting for an answer to her texting messages. And all this time, she was cursing him :”Motherfucker, fucking idiot, fucking emasculate fucker!” and all the versions of the “fuck” – word. Only to delete all this curses at his first answer : “No! He is not like that! I’m stupid! I misjudged him!”. Cause yes, we are thought by our friends since we are very, very young that it’s impossible a guy not to like you; “he likes you, but he treats you bad cause he wants you to be more into him”, “he doesn’t have time” (and remember: NOBODY IS EVER TOO BUSY. IF THEY TRULY CARE, THEY’LL MAKE TIME!)… and other bullshits just to cover the painful truth:”Girl,  he is not that into you!” And, actually, this phrase could make the things easier, cause you’d pass over this situation faster. And guess what? Once you’ll become aware of your self-worth and you’ll stop giving a shit about the Wolf,  he will start seeing you with different eyes. Not like an easy prey, but like that beautiful, independent deer that he is craving for.

There are few cases, when things will start to work with a Wolf from both sides and a nice story can begin. You can even upgrade his drawer, you can move him to The One’s drawer and you can live happily ever after. Unfortunately,  in most of the cases, the changes in the wolf’s behavior will be too late, cause you’ll literally not give a shit anymore about him. Bye, bye crush! Bye, bye obsession!

  • The Puppies drawer

Here, you’ll put all those kind, sweet boys that like you, do everything for you, just to get a little bit of your attention. And, no matter how much they struggle, how many chocolates they will give you or to how many movies they will take you,  they will not be able to light the flame. Sometimes, you can make a huge mistakes and give them a chance, hopping that maybe, MAYBE you’ll start to feel something. But in 99% of the cases, you’ll feel a shit. And that’s not your fault. It’s their fault cause you can’t fall in love with a puppet who stays wherever you’ll put it. You’re fault is that you used them as a “medicine” for your own emotional  problems.

  • The Fuckers drawer

This is like the tampons drawer. Good to use at the critical moments. And, usually, they are not worthy for any feelings. And, don’t feel bad about that cause it’s not you, it’s them and their careless behavior.  As far as it concerns me, sex will never be enough for me to stick around. I need my soul fed. I need my brain and my heart stimulated too. And, usually, the fuckers can not do that.  However, there might be  some  exceptions from this rule who can be upgraded to another drawer. Rarely, but not impossible.

So, more or less, every girl has these 4 drawers in her boys wardrobe. Or I’m the only one who have it??? Haha! And after, we have the Friend-Zoned drawer, the Colleagues drawer, the Bosses drawer, The Idiots drawer, The Never Again drawer, and many others, smaller, or bigger drawers. The most important thing is to keep everything in order. Cause imagine what can happen if you mix the fuckers with the puppies,  or The Wolf with The One , or whatever. Chaos! So pay attention!

Pages from “You are my music”

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It’s late October and you just returned from abroad yesterday. Maybe because it was my birthday yesterday???

-Do you wanna go for a ride? you ask me.

-Yes. We can go.

And you are driving me on the same old road where we made soo many memories together in these 5 years. It’s like this road is only our road. The sky here is only ours and the sea it belongs only to us. You are telling me about your life, your plans, your dreams, your trip abroad. I’m just listening. You don’t stop because you know my silence is our END and this time is for sure.

-I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?

For a  moment, I can not find my words and I stay blank. I don’t know what to answer. Our last kiss was a long time ago and we didn’t even knew it was the last one.

-No, but you can give me a hug, though.

-You, with your hugs, you little stupid. You always loved hugs and cuddling.

You stop the car and you grab me in your arms, in a long hug. I feel your heart beating cause you are hugging me strong. A part of me still wants to remember us like that. I used to feel that I belong to your hug.

-‘Was I your music?” I ask you.

-“You are still my music, idiot!”

………..

It’s winter now and Transylvania is frozen. It’s been a long while since I haven’t think about you. Like I finally cleared my mind and my soul of you. I finally felt free of you. And it feels soo good.

Today is foggy in Cluj-Napoca and pretty cold. But I don’t care and I make a walk in the city. I know you are thinking about me. Don’t ask me how, I just know it. And, look, you call me. I told you I know.

-Hey!

You make a long pause….like you don’t know what to say. I can’t stop thinking “Bravo, girl! You intimidate this alfa male!”. Finally you answer:

-You stupid Romanian girl, you finally answered your phone. I called you after you left from Greece, I called you when you were in Milan, at the Christmas, at the New Year….and you….nothing! No answer! I know and I’m sure you were not alone. And I have a feeling that this new “medicine” in not only a “medicine”. But tell to that motherfucker that nobody can ever take my place in your heart and he will always be after me! When you’ll return from that fucking Romania? I want to see you!

 

The strongest woman I’ve ever known

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It’s a bit before 6 in the morning. The strongest woman I’ve ever known is already up. She already put her make up and dressed up. Since I know her (and that’s a life time), she’s always been a morning person. She always used to tell me if I was sleeping “too much”:

-8 in the morning and you are still sleeping??? The flies will take a shit in your mouth! Wake up!

8 in the morning was always “too much” for her. Now she is making her coffee. And she is also washing the dishes from the sink. How on Earth to drink your coffee at 6 a.m. when the dishes are dirty in the sink?!? No!!! We don’t care that Dany is still sleeping! We must wash the dishes, otherwise the sky will fall,  a meteorite will hit the planet and the human kind will be forever lost. The strongest woman knows that she has a primordial mission: to wash the dishes because someone must save the Earth and who else can do that if not her? She must save her kids, cause yes, the strongest woman I’ve ever known is my MOM.

Only after she saves the planet early in the morning, only after that she can leave to the school to teach those snotty kids how to become humans. She is a teacher. Actually she is a witch-teacher. I’m sure of that. After all those yells and punishments that she applies to those kids it’s simply inexplicable how they still love her. For sure she must have put some spells on them. Or, they simply have good sensors in detecting good hearts.

This is the biggest paradox: to be a good hearted witch. And she is. The most memorable present she has ever made for me was a book. It’s not important the name of the book, but what she wrote on the first page:

Always follow your heart!

Nowadays, this advice may not be the wisest cause everyone transformed in heartless robots, chasing money, careers and opportunities. But she always knew that happiness is coming from the heart and all those people choosing only brain are fools who will regret later on their choices. I think she learned it on her skin after 27 years of loveless marriage. And, for sure, she knows that her daughter is the biggest empath ever who wants or not, is always going to be more heart and her truly happiness will come only from there.

The strongest woman has super powers: she is highly smart, very diplomatic and she can read the people with a glance. So, don’t lie to her cause she will always know, even if she will not tell you. This is something that she transmitted to her daughter also.My intuition is annoyingly high and I guarantee you that I always feel when someone is telling me lies or is trying to hide something from me. And this is not necessarily always an advantage.

The strongest woman does not have a problem to start over any time is necessary. She can be very stubborn and determined. After 27 years of marriage she left her home and everything that she has built in half of her life. She left only with the clothes she was wearing and with an empty purse. She knew that all the material goods are replaceable and useless. And she built a new home, all by her own, at over 50 years old. I told you, she is a witch. A super powered witch, rudely honest and memorable. You can talk with her about any subject, cause she is very open mind and very trustworthy.

Dany knows that any time she is passing through a rough period, the superwoman will be waiting for her with a warm soup or she will cross countries only to cook a tomatoes salad for her heart-broken daughter. Dany knows that you don’t need superheroes when you have a MOM.

 

 

 

 

The woman at 30s

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She is a bit over 30 years old, making her life in a foreign country, having a normal, decent job in the management area, living alone in a small apartment, paying the bills alone, traveling in different countries at least twice per year, not married, single, attending parties with friends or even alone. Aaa, and she is from Romania. Don’t forget this special indication when you will answer me at the following questions: “What people think about her? What are the chances for them to say that she has an old rich sponsor?” Luckily, she doesn’t give a shit about those opinions.

I’ve never really cared about social pressure. That kind of social pressure…I mean from people that do not have importance for me. But, today, while I was putting the clothes on the dryer, my mother yelled at me:

-Not like that!!! You don’t know to do nothing in a home. How you’ll raise a child?

My mother is the most efficient eagle I’ve ever seen. Her eyes do not miss a thing. And she does not trick me with her glasses. Literally, she is a witch.

-Mom, you don’t like anything. If you’ll have a son-in-law, he will kill you one day cause you’ll be the worst mother-in-law ever and I will not even blame him!

-Well, I don’t have a son-in-law and you’ll never know to raise a child.

-Of course not! At her age, only the Devil will marry her! my mother’s husband said from the living room.

Well, I do not mind marrying the Devil as long as I’ll be happy. I even imagine myself living with him in his fire castle, wearing porn clothes and practicing BDSM together. Actually, I can bet we would be a very happy couple. And , for sure, he’ll not care about traditional cliques like ” You are too old for getting marry”, “How many partners you had before”, “You don’ know to raise a child”, “You don’t know to cook”….etc….I’m sure you know them better than me.

Who the fuck said there is a deadline in doing all this things?!?!? It’s only the traditional concept saying that a woman HAS to be professionally and personally fulfilled until her 30 s. If you pass that term, you failed in your life, you are a disappointment for your family and for the society . Under this pressure, many women at this age run in the street, pick the first passer, marry him, make him a baby and, most probably, destroy their next 30-40 or even 70 years of their life.

So, don’t blame me if I prefer to marry the Devil. It would be fun, actually.

Is not my fault that my planets didn’t lined up yet and that THE ONE didn’t come in my way yet. Or that I’m too selfish to share my food with a snotty child. Or that I’m thinking only about how to travel, how to dance, how to have fun, how to spoil myself.

Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mind changing the status of my toilet seat. And if you don’t understand what I mean, I’ll tell you a short story: it was the MORNING AFTER, we had a long crazy night, and in the morning I used the bathroom after him. I couldn’t stop noticing that the toilet seat was up. So, I smiled and I told him : “Worm (I use code name cause I like privacy), I can understand I have a man in my home even if I don’t see you”. So, as long as the person who change my toilet seat status is who I want, I don’t mind it at all.

Many women stay in relationships where they are both the woman and the man and their emasculate dick’s owner is just passing by from time to time. Sometimes, you meet some princes that make you feel is better to marry their horses than themselves.

And, since I like horses, but I don’t wanna marry one, I’ll prefer being alone. And, God knows, this has many advantages:

  • you can flirt with whoever you want;
  • you can wear exactly what you want: transparent t-shirt, short skirt, boobs out, you can even walk naked;
  • you can return home whenever you want and with whoever you want;
  • you can stay with unshaven legs;
  • you can be noisy in the toilet, cause yes, beautiful girls, they also take a shit;
  • you can drink your ass with your friends;
  • you can dance sensual with whoever you like…

…..and there are soo many others unorthodox advantages . And you can happily benefit of all of them cause you are a shining fuckable badass woman who doesn’t care about traditional cliques and who knows who and what she wants in her life, without making regrettable compromises. Live how YOU want, not how people say!

 

 

 

 

The most efficient diet

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If we’ll make a survey regarding which was the most popular resolutions of the New Year, don’t be surprise to discover that most of the people want to lose weight. We are always on a diet at the beginning of the year.

Don’t you know that feeling? First day of the year you are all optimistic, your pores emit diet, you are the guru of all the salads and all the sugar-free foods, the master of all the fitness and yoga techniques, the best human calculator for calories, the most experienced nutrition specialist. First day!

Second day! You barely wake up from the bed cause your muscles are paralyzed for the previous day workout (you wanted to show off at the gym that you are the king/ the queen of the gym and nobody can lift those weights, except you…..all those buffaloes from the gym know nothing comparing to you). Your healthy sugar-free coffee doesn’t taste as good as yesterday and at 11 pm your stomach is on a concert but NOOO, you don’t touch the food after 6 pm.

Third day! Come on! No one ever died from a tiny little spoon of sugar in the coffee.  And, at the gym, who the fuck said I can not check my Instagram???

Fourth day! Even God has a day off in a week. So I’ll take mine today. No gym today! I deserve it!……….Aaaaaaa!!! And something else! Why the fuck they put a light in the fridge if they say is not allowed to eat in the night?!?!?

Fifth day! Fuck it! A second day off from the gym is not such a big crime. And this fucking cucumber I’ll serve it next to some fried potatoes. They are all vegetables, after all.

And so on! You are even lucky if you reach the fifth day. Most of us , on the second/third day, we end up in front of the fridge , ALWAYS after 11 p.m. (it can be also 2-3 a.m.)…..just to serve a green tea. And you finish this action devouring all the fridge.  And every night is “only tonight”. “Cause I want to relax”, or ” I wanna feel like I’m at the cinema while I’m watching my Netflix serial”, or “I deserve to spoil myself a bit”. The list of reasons is endless. And, anyway, everyone knows that with a green tea you can lose kilos only if you’ll go to collect it on your own from the mountains. Even Facebook admits that.

Tell me if I’m the only one who is doing like this! Diets, simply, are not for me! Diets make me eat more! Diets make me think only about the food, transforming me into a fucking obsessed stalker of the fridge and of the sweets drawer. Diets are the evil! Diets have the fault!

Luckily, together with my friends, we discover a miraculous  method of loosing weight. It’s called LOVE. Actually, SUFFERING FROM LOVE. Trust me, it works. I’ve tried several times….always fast results: flat stomach, skinny legs, tiny arms. No expensive healthy bio natural whatever food, no exhausting gym training, no weird late cravings. Free and fast!

I’ll explain you the stages of this revolutionary diet. What Duncan, what Keto, what Intermittent Fasting and other “putses ble”? They are all “cacat de urs” (bear’s shit) comparing with SUFFERING FROM LOVE.

So, how you start???

First, I wanna tell you that is the only diet that doesn’t start “in the morning” or “from tomorrow”. It always starts in the middle of the night, with a looooong session of overthinking. Don’t worry you’ll fall asleep. No chances. So you don’t have to struggle to follow this diet. Everything comes natural. In the morning, guess what? Surprise!!! Your stomach already looks better and you’re not even hungry.  No breakfast, no lunch, not even dinner. You don’t wanna see food. Tell me, now, which other diet is soo cheap? Your only costs will resume at cigarettes, cause you wanna smoke like a turkish (if you are a smoker).

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In three days, the results are already obvious. After a week, your stomach has melted all the fat. All this period, the only exercises you have to do are the nervous movements in the bed during the night. And don’t forget, the music from your playlist has a major role.  All the serious workout programs put a clear accent on the music. So, the lyrics from Coldplay will be on repeat in your brain:

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
‘Cause you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
What could it be worse?

After all this, finally you can wear your S size dress that hide the fact that you are suffering like a dog. The dark circles under your eyes can be fixed with some make up, and….here you are!!! The skinny bitch that you’ve dreamed to become. I told you! Fast, free and guarantee.

So if you’ll see me skinny  (or even very skinny – it can happen to lose even 12-15 kilos in a very short period) , don’t ask me “What’s the diet?”. Ask me “Who’s the asshole?”

 

 

 

 

 

I’m the Grinch!

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Christmas is coming and, again, I don’t feel the Spirit. I’m not a Christmas person, I haven’t been for a long time, probably since I was singing carols with the other children in the village. I would not mind to fall asleep on 23 of December and to wake up on 28. Or to be on an exotic island, laying on a sunny beach, with tanned Santa Klauses. That, definitely, sounds better than feeling ice cold in Cluj-Napoca.

My Transylvanian town is full of lights this period. Christmas Market, Christmas trees, Christmas songs, Christmas lights shinning through the cold fog, Christmas food, Christmas couples……Christmas, Christmas everywhere. Intoxicating Christmas sugar atmosphere with all those gypsy illuminated balcony. If you don’t have the Christmas in your heart, how is possible to find it under a tree???

Is the period when everyone must make a show from their kindness, generosity, affection. Everyone acts like saints. But only this period. After that, RELEASE THE HELL, ANGELS!

I also hear very often this time “Do good things to the others, without expecting nothing in return” . I don’t know, my dears, how are you, but I’m not Mama Theresa. I didn’t reach that level yet. My saint side has some limits. Of course I will expect something in return….not a new car, not 1 million $……just treat me as I treat you. Is there anyone expecting in return broken hearts and slapped cheeks??? Let’s leave these things for the martyrs, cause we are not.

Letter for Santa Klaus … I didn’t write this year cause that fucking bastard reads only the letters that come from slim girls, with tanned skin and long nails. But I will write here my wishes cause maybe, MAYBE, while he is scrolling on social-media, through asses and boobs, he will read them also. (Or maybe Lucifer is online and he will trade my soul for my desires) . And I will not write only 3, cause Santa Klaus owns me more from last years and he’s not the golden fish, either. So, my 7 wishes are:

  1. To have a job that makes me happy. You see??? I didn’t write to earn money without working. I like working and I want that job that makes me to wake up early, impatient to go to work.
  2. To love and to be loved, without being hurt. Don’t you dare to send me again impossible loves, immature assholes, fuckers or boring puppies. Don’t treat me like I’m a magnet for those, understand?!?
  3. To make a new tattoo. I can’t tell you where (it’s a secret place) or what. These things leave them on me.
  4. To travel to some exotic places. Be careful! I didn’t say Salina Turda. I didn’t say place, I said placeS. And exotic…that means they are, at least, on another continent. And don’t send me alone! Send me with The One! I’m not a freaking nostalgic weirdo.
  5. I want my family and my dear ones to be healthy. That’s an order.
  6. To eat without getting fat. Clear? Got it?
  7. To have time, power and resources to do whatever makes me happy. If I want to dance, I need time; if I want to climb on Kilimanjaro, I need power; if I want to run a business, I need resources.

Yes, they are big wishes, but you own this to me after you let me so many years to make to myself cheap presents. That’s your punishment and you better do it, or I’ll steal your Christmas Spirit and I’ll be gone forever!

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Women are from Venus and men are from Mars….and I’m somewhere from between

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I was drinking my early coffee one of these mornings and I discovered a paragraph that I wrote in 2015:

” How wonderful the world would be if women could think and act like men! I mean, mostly, men like cars, sports, beer and, of course, women! They are direct, they use dirty words and they belch. When they wake up, they need only 10 minutes to use the toilet, 1 minute to dress up and 30 seconds to fix their hair. But women….. how strange they are! They need clothes, sessions at the hairdresser, shoes, thousands of shoes, makeup, expensive perfumes and, at least, one hour to get ready for a new day or for a date. And that’s just an endless list summary. Or should I remind you how they need constant attention and affection? A woman is like a cat… she loves kissing and cuddling and hugging… she uses pretentious words, she is catchy, moody and bossy. A woman is a creature that can not sleep if she didn’t find the perfect bra, even if she tried about 20 pieces”

I was right, in most of the things, except one: women to think and to act like men. I mean, I really like the way men think: realistic, directly, fair, using their brain, not their heart; they make fun of each other without getting upset; they gather to play football while the girls are staying bored at home; they talk about interesting things (not about nail designs or the new collection from Zara). That’s why I’ve always preferred their company. But, still, I was wrong. Woman thinking and acting like men is like eating fried potatoes without salt for the rest of your life. Something would miss, wouldn’t it?

Imagine a woman sitting in a bar with her Jack Daniels drink, scanning the area. Finally she detects an handsome guys sitting in the other corner; she will move close to him, because she is an alfa woman (sorry, but, personally,  I like only alfa men , so here we are talking about alfa category) and she will approach him:

“- Hey, beauty? Fancy a drink? I kinda like you?”

Do you like this scenario? I think some special effects would be lost. The mystery and the “chasing” phase will be excluded from the landscape. The lion will not chase the deer anymore. And, God!!! How much we love this part of the game! Goodbye oxytocin, goodbye vasopressin because there will be nothing to trigger these love hormones.

So God must have had some good reasons to create us so different from eachother. Of course, it would be ideal if we would know and understand eachother only a little bit more. But, this is a lessons that most of us didn’t attend to.

I remember once I saw a big book in a library  – “What men know about woman”. My eyes were ready to get out from their orbits. I grabbed it full of curiosity and I wanted to open it but the covers were sealed. So I was suppose to buy it if I wanted to see what’s inside. And it was not really cheap. Luckily, a boy who was there saw me and told me “Don’t buy it. It’s empty. I bit the bait.” And he was right. I saw it later to a friend’s home. It was empty. Just a big empty book with impressive covers. I think it’s obvious what does that mean. So it’s not only boring, but it’s also impossible  to think and to act the same since we don’t really know eachother.

Girls, did ever happen to you to invest relatively a lot of time choosing the most sophisticated bra and the sexiest bikini because, you know, you have nasty plans for the evening? And when the evening comes, your Khal Drogo just grabs you impatiently, throws you in all the corners of the bed / floor / table / whatever and snatch the bikini out from your body, without even noticing the color. And worst, he will not notice anything even in the morning. It’s like you wanna serve him your bikini in his coffee cup because you were waiting for that “wow”.

And now, that we are talking about this TABOO subject (SEX), I remember a conversation that we had with my girls in one of our trips. The topic was about when he is down there, using his soft tongue, taking you to Wonderland. Everything is sparkling and magical, until he decides to PUUUUUUUUT brutally his fingers inside……like a farmer who wants to plant onions in the fields. Bye, bye fireworks and rainbows. And if you are a stupid girl, you will fake an orgasm because you want to make him feel like a male. If you are smart, you will guide him and, if he is an alfa, he will learn how to pleasure you. Otherwise, he will continue to plant onions, and, in your stupidity, waiting for him to finish, you will start to search for the remote control between your sheets because the TV would be more interesting than whatever you are doing there.

So, with a proper communication, sex can be very easy. You just take off your clothes and there you are. People do it very often. And you can’t even compare them with animals, cause animals have the reproducing instinct. The difficult part is to open your soul to your partner, to let him/her know your thoughts, desires, fears, dreams, to express your feelings because nobody can read minds. Than you are really naked. For this you need a big dose of courage. And, most of us do not have it. So we indulge ourselves  in contentless, cold, emotionally unrelated relationships, like heartless dolls, ending up with bitter taste and broken souls. Together but alone. Does it sound familiar?

Personally, I’ve always sucked at expressing feelings. Because of the vanity, because of the fucking high ego, because of the bad past experiences ……or because I’m a cheeky monkey afraid of the other’s answer. And this is not only about expressing feelings. I was once in a bar with a friend and it happened to be there a guy that I really liked that period. When we left , I told to my friend:

– That’s the guy that I like.

– That one?!? You didn’t even look at him. I thought you hate him. I’m sure he thinks the same.

I’m that bad at these signals. Because I’m the Ice Queen who is going to marry her ego.

At least, I’m brave enough to admit I’m like that cause I’m sure there are many like me out there, acting like they are really “intouchable”, only because they’ve been drastically “touched” before. So they locked themselves in their shell, isolated from any feelings. And mostly, this happens to men. They must present themselves like unbreakable dicks, fucking everything that moves and has boobs, not leaving anyone to touch their wounded souls. Women are more like sensitive flowers that blossom in a warm environment. I guess, I’m something between, like a sensitive flower in a shell…..a cactus.  I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness and in my dimension I like only things that have soul. Understand me!

Imagine people could just say how they feel…..like ” Hey, I really miss you”, “Hey, I don’t like when you do that to me”, “Hey, I love you”, “If I text you every day, feel special, motherfucker”…honest, simple, saving everyone from trouble. But no, women and men, we are so focused on acting savage and heartless, like we are in a competition “Who can hide better the emotions”. And sometimes, we hide them soo good that later, no one, not even ourselves, can’t find them anymore. We don’t hide them on Venus, neither on Mars….God knows in which black hole we throw them that they disappear forever.

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